Dear students, faculty, and staff,
I write this email to assure you that the recently announced strategic alliance known as the U4 League is not, in fact, an evil organization of university administrators devoted to systematically exploiting Maritime students and/or building giant and very evil looking monuments.
When I wrote of “promoting our institution’s common objectives,” I did not, in fact, intend to mean that we are planning on raising tuition for the next century in order to offset the considerable cost of constructing an evil-looking U4 headquarters on St. FX’s residential quad. Similar rumours about the new performing arts centre being, I quote, “actually a very giant and very evil robot,” are equally unfounded.
While some have suspiciously pointed their fingers toward an increased cape allotment in this year’s annual budget, I assure you that the motive behind this increased cape-oriented spending is wholly and entirely non-evil.
Regards,
Dr. X. Evil
President, Principal, Vice-Chancellor, and Chief Holder of Titles
